Fractured Saints - never beyond mending - a christian blog for the broken ones

The past couple weeks, God has really been showing me how privileged I am and how much of it has so little to do with my performance and so much to do with his immeasurable grace.  It has led me to confession and even a bit of weeping.  Here are the points that hit home -

• The movie Precious –  Wow I only made it through about 20 minutes of this movie.  The movie gives a view into the life of a young, overweight African American teenage girl that is truly horrific.  To describe the depth of despair, her mother let her father rape her so that the teenager could keep giving birth to children so that the mother can get more welfare money.  The fact that I was born to 2 white middle class parents who loved me thoroughly has way more to do with my current life than my hard work.  Mark against my pride of status / success in my life.
• A conversation with a good friend – A friend and I went to a movie a couple weeks ago and conversation veered to kids.  His sister came up in the conversation, and I was sad to hear that her firstborn is still experiencing real problems.  It appears that the young child has bi-polar and is still quite violent and down-right threatening sometimes.  Both my friend’s sister and husband are faithful, smart, excellent parents who are struggling day in, day out with their child.  This really shook me up as well as I act as if my children’s relatively good behavior is largely a result of my “good” parenting.  Another heavy mark against my pride of the “job I have done” in parenting my kids.
• The movie The Road – This was another movie that shouldn’t be watched after a hard day.  Basically it consists of a post-apocalyptic world where there is no food / animals left.  The story is about a man who is just trying to keep him and his son alive on the road.  It is incredibly bleak, but it again it just showed me how much I have come to expect out of life.  Safety, regular food production, clean water.  These things are insignificant until we start to think about what we would do if they were yanked away.  Of course, my sinful heart would think, well that couldn’t happen in America, but I see no place in the Bible where I am promised that.  Huge mark against my pride which lead me to expect all of the things of my life to continue uninterrupted.

All of this has caused me to pray more humbly, to thank God deeply for simple things (air, food, family) and to generally distrust my natural state of evil pride.  I still forget regularly about my need to do these things (chief sin of Israelites who forgot God), but I have been clearly shown my sin.  God, please be merciful to me and help me to further confess and turn from my sin.

As I ended up my talk at the Men’s Bible Study almost a week ago, the progression of a study on pride naturally lends itself to a study on humility.  Suddenly, there was a conclusion staring me in the face, that pride must be sacrificed if anything good is ever to come out of or into my life.  Because Christ humbled Himself, the greatest good of salvation was made available to me.

Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:  6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:  7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:  8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”

Because of a moment of humility in my own life, I came to accept that grace offered to me.  In fact, the very moment of our own salvation is our first act of humility towards God.  Recognizing our own sinfulness, admitting our need for a Savior, we accept, in our degenerate condition, a gift we know we do not deserve.

Beyond salvation, what is a Christian to do about pride?  If we lay down our pride, we are said to “humble ourselves” but if pride is ripped from us we are “humiliated”.  I want to have a heart bent towards the former, and that I would not find humbling myself such a difficult thing, yet I find I struggle with this one aspect of Christian living so much, and so frequently, I have come to the conclusion that it is a moment by moment struggle of the will and mind, one that must subject itself as a Christian to be a Christ-like ambassador in the service of a Holy God.

To that end, the rest of this post is a 5 point checklist of what we can do about pride.  For anyone looking for a quick path, the first point should be enough to stop any one of us in our tracks.

1.  Accept with patience unwarranted criticism: 1Peter 2:20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

I find it difficult enough to accept criticism when I am wrong, but here is a whole new standard – take it when you’re right, too, and take it patiently.  Anyone swallowing hard on that one?

2.  Learn to keep silent: Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. Understanding that “Only by pride cometh contention” then it would be logical for us to conclude that when we have a contentious spirit within us, it would be far better to keep silent than to open our mouths and give voice to our contentions.

This is not the same as standing up for what is right, but we must understand how to make a stand for what is right without being overrun by our own pride.  If we are standing for what is right but we are filled with pride, the opposite message will come across, and it will have been better for us to keep silent.

3.  Learn to speak with a sincere heart with the other person’s best interest in mind.  Eph 4:14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; 15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Become very self-critical when you feel like responding defensively or feel you must lash out to correct someone.  Stop yourself when the beginnings of frustration, anger, or resentment take hold of you.  That contentious spirit is not borne of a Holy purpose, but of a prideful heart that must be broken before it can communicate any form of truth in a genuine spirit of love.

4.  Learn that contentment is only achieved through humility.

Php 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

1Ti 6:8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.

Heb 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

None of this is possible if we feel we deserve more than we already have, and remember that only by pride cometh contention – it applies with a dissatisfied heart, too.

5.  The key to service to Christ, in ANY capacity, is the humble heart of a servant.  Without humility, we cannot serve God even if we tried.  2Cor 9:6 But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.  7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. People who want to be recognized for their contributions of time, money, and talents, do not have the correct mindset to serve God in the first place, and ultimately their gifts are wasted on themselves and their reward is given in a moment.

Mt 6:2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

See also Mt 6:5  6:15

If we give grudgingly to that which is good, with a knowledge that we should do it, but with an unwilling heart, is there not a bad attitude within us? Is this not contentious?

The first two most important decisions I have ever made in my life is my decision to accept Christ as Savior, and deciding to spend the rest of my life with the lady I call my wife.  Quite possibly, the study of a humble life and the consequences of pride have led me to what I feel would be the third most important decision in anyone’s life – to live a humble life as Christ did.  It has been said that the blood of Christ runs like a thin red line throughout all of Scripture binding it together, and if so, then surely the humility of Christ runs the whole of that line.

Whether you struggle with lust, food, adrenalin, pride or coveting other peoples stuff, you know the addictive power of sin. You also know that if you have struggled with a particular sin in you life that it didn’t start where it is now. For example food, I haven’t always eaten a whole pizza when I went to CiCi’s (please note this is just an example…. I actually normally eat more then that). No I started eating less then a piece many many years ago but that’s the way sinful nature and addiction is. I start small and the more I live in the struggle the more I just accept the little sins. I down play the seriousness of the sin by saying hey its only one piece (I’ve moved on from pizza now), but these little sins hold me captive and keep me in the struggle. They keep my chained up in sin, right where Satan wants me to be and right where Jesus wants me to be set free from.

So I ask, What little sins do you allow to hold you captive? Even if you see no effects from them in your life, what do you allow yourself that you know you shouldn’t? Two of the main things that come to mind in my life is speeding and downloading things illegally. Now that I have said them maybe you can help me figure out how these sins affect my life.

Out of all the top sins in my life, I don’t think pride would have made my top 3 or even 7.  Yet in the six (yea, seven) things God hates, “A proud look” makes the first on His list.  (Proverbs 6: 16-17)  In the New Testament, pride shows up again as one of three on a list as “the pride of life”.  I John 2:16

Ever notice that the Bible also makes some very emphatic and exclusive statements and conclusions about pride?  “Only by pride cometh contention: . . . ” Proverbs 13:10 and “Pride goeth before destruction, . . .” Proverbs 16:18

If God takes the issue of pride so seriously, why don’t I?  The only answer I could come up with: my pride.

As I began to delve into my own research to be able to teach on this topic in Men’s Bible study, a flood of conviction began to overwhelm me.  “Only by pride” do I argue, “Only by pride” do I get offended when someone is critical, “Only by pride” do I criticize others, “Only by pride” do I find fault in others, “Only by pride” do I become dissatisfied with my situation, “Only by pride” do I find myself too busy to read my Bible or pray, and on and on.  I began to see how pride has infiltrated every aspect of my life, every moment of my day, every encounter with another person, every thought that enters my mind, every action or word will be influenced by my pride.  I saw myself unable to function in life without my pride, and I stood totally convicted and judged in my own eyes.  How would God see me?  I shuddered, because I also knew “Pride goeth before destruction.” Proverbs 16:18

Most people inaccurately quote this as pride comes before a fall, but it is a misquote of the words in the entire verse.  God says, quite emphatically, that He hates pride, and we either must lose our pride or face destruction.  I also found destruction comes in so many forms.  Others are killed every day by someone else’s pride.  For example: texting while driving – pride tells us we can do it.  Speeding – we are safer drivers than others aren’t we?  I could write a whole article on just the consequences of pride, but you get the idea.  Relationships are destroyed – by pride.  Churches die and are destroyed – by pride.  Families are torn apart – by pride.  How different would our world be without pride?  Picture that, and maybe you can get a sense of why God hates it so much.

If “Only by pride cometh contention” then the reverse must also be true, so I came up with the corollary that “Only by humility cometh contentment.”  Think of all the things that bother you, then think of how Christ faced them by taking off His God robe long enough to die for you and me.  At the very moment of our own salvation, humility, not pride, ruled our minds and hearts.  On bended knee, vulnerable, we cried out for Him to save us, and He did.

I believe now that no one dies and goes to hell for their sins – for Christ paid for ALL OUR  SINS.  I now believe that a person dies and goes to hell for their PRIDE.  Someone who refuses salvation is someone who has refused to humble them self and acknowledge an Almighty God and His Son Jesus Christ, or maybe they have an issue with recognizing their own sinfulness.  In any case, it is always pride that stands between them and salvation – everything else to effect their salvation is already prepared for them.  Pride tells us we must earn salvation, while humility accepts there is nothing we can do to save ourselves.  God will only judge us for our sin if we hang onto our pride, and I am in the middle of my P-R-I-D-E.  Need a reference for that?

How about the story of Jonah?  The city of Nineveh was condemned for their sins, Jonah goes and warns them then sits on a hill to wait for their impending destruction.  The people humble themselves from the king to the last citizen, and God spares them.  Check it out for yourself how multiple times God backs off His judgment from a person a city or a nation because the person, people, or nation humbled themselves.

The kicker: 2Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

John Piper – Make War

When I first came across this video, I was a little uneasy. Being Mr. Nonviolence, I was like, “Say what now?” But when I pushed play, I learned that John Piper here is NOT talking about declaring war on others, but on ourselves.

Our addictions.

Our hatred toward others.

Our apathy towards injustice.

Our sinful nature.

“My greatest enemy is not Satan,” Piper says. “My greatest enemy is John Piper.”

Lately I’ve been thinking about this video and what it means. There’s definitely an battle within me, but mostly I don’t fight back. I just surrender and let the darkness take over. Then the darkness tortures me with guilt and shame.

I like to think of myself as a lover, not a fighter. But I think it’s time to get my war on.

How do I do this? I think the first step is actually another form of surrendering . . . but this time it’s surrendering to Jesus. I’m not strong enough to fight my sin on my own. I need to let the Holy Spirit do the fighting for me.

How do you make war?

My grandmother died last night and again, I’m faced with tragedy.  I am not generally good at sorrow / grief, and I typically respond in somewhat cold, logical manner.  Though my grandmother was a Christian and I fully rejoice that she is in the presence of our Savior (Come quickly Jesus!), part of identifying with grief is really seeing death for what it is.  Very similar to what I said in my last post,  death really is a stark reminder of the consequences of sin.  It is a victory for the devil in a lot of ways.  I am reminded of the scene in the Passion of the Christ where the Devil figure is walking through the crowd as Jesus is being killed.  There is a certain level of triumph in his face, yet he is apprehensive.  The death of Christ was the devil’s greatest victory and at the same time was his greatest and most final defeat.

In this light, the death of the Christian is re-enactment of Christ’s death.  There is sorrow and it is a victory in a way for the devil.  But in this minor victory, the devil has to face the fact that it his last victory that he will ever have in that believer’s life.  They are home and will never suffer under temptation, sorrow or the whisperings of the evil one ever again.

With these two realities in mind, I am going to try to weep for sorrow at the victory of sin in my grandmother’s physical death and weep for joy at the victory of Christ in her eternal life.

I hope this makes sense.  Today’s been a cocktail of emotion.

Normally I am a little worried about throwing up hard to answer questions or questions that might not have an answer here. There are a couple of reasons for this: 1. I don’t want to cause any of my brothers to stumble, 2. I don’t want anyone who doesn’t know Christ to be mislead or confused, 3. It usually doesn’t lead to a heavy response, in fact in usually leads to no response at all. Throwing all that aside though I think this is a good venue for me to ask those questions, but feel free to let me know if you think I am wrong.

So as some of you know, lately I have been struggling with understanding the character of God and who He is. The latest piece of character that has come into question in my life is this aspect of him being unchanging. I wasn’t really sure what all aspects this unchanging characteristic covered but I assumed that it went so far his decisions. But I don’t understand 3 instances off the top of my head in the Bible (listed below chronologically).

First there’s Job, Satan comes to God and says let me screw with Job and God’s like ok you can mess with everything in his life but don’t touch him. Ignoring that I don’t get why God would allow Satan to have his way with anything, Satan comes back after laying waste to Job’s family, flocks and all that he owns. And even though Job did just as God said, Satan talks God into letting him afflict Job and then tortures him for a while.

Second there’s Moses. when the Israelites were down at the bottom of the mountain God says that He will just wipe them out. Moses pleads with God and God decides to spare them.

Third there’s Jonah, God sent Jonah to Nineveh to let the people know that God was going to destroy them. The people turn from their wicked ways and God forgives them and spares them.

While I am not saying that I am irritated by the last 2, because I think that anytime people are spared from being punished for their stupidity and easily falling into sin (because I am often part of that group) it’s a good thing, I just don’t understand how someone can change God’s mind. I understand that Moses appealed to God’s character and reputation, the people of Nineveh repented and turned from their wicked ways and God is forgiving, but I still can’t get God having a sit down with Satan and being like sure why not you can torture one of the guys on earth whom I consider my own, even one of my best. Can anyone help me out here?

Isn’t this country great, how we threw off the shackles of King George III to establish a government with principles inspired by God, securing God’s blessings and approval!

Is it?

I’ve been wrestling for some time with our revolution from a biblical perspective.  Was it justified?  Should we have rebelled in the first place?

If we look at Romans 13:1-7, maybe not.  It begins:

King George the III was, without a doubt, an authority.  And an authority, therefore, established by God.  So wasn’t our revolution a rebellion against God?

I hear the objection (and I’ve said it myself), “But the king was a tyrant!”

If we accept that he was a tyrant, does that justify our rebellion?  There were tyrannical Roman emperors, weren’t there?  Paul and Peter were martyred under Nero’s reign, a well known tyrant.

And wasn’t there taxation without representation in the Roman empire?  Is that enough of a reason to revolt?

In 1 Peter 2:13-14, we have a little different take on authority:

Interesting, isn’t it?  A distinction is made about governors and their role as an agent of justice.  But no mention is made of how to address an unjust governor.

Can anyone point me to a passage that proscribes our actions when governed unjustly?

The closest I can get is instruction on how to deal with taxation without representation:

Matthew 22:15-22 (New International Version)

So, no call to rebellion there at all, is there?  Quite the opposite.

Why are we special?  Are we special?

Why does God’s word seemingly not apply to our nation?

At what point do we transcend rebellion and enter a state of being established by God?

p.s. And I didn’t even go near the hyperbole that Hitler and the holocaust would’ve introduced.  I find it more interesting to explore the grey.

Any one who knows me knows that I have a huge beef with the Prosperity Gospel. It sickens me to see the Word of God reduced to just another snake-oil self-help scam where you can get anything you want if you just “think positively.” One of the most popular examples of this is The Prayer of Jabez, which misuses a small anecdote found in 1 Chronicles 4:9-11:

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.

Many people interpret this as, “If you ask God to bless you, He’ll shower you with material wealth and whatever else you want.” But as I learned Sunday at my fiancee Amy’s church, that’s not the case.

Did you notice verse 9 when it says Jabez got his name because his mother “gave birth to him in pain?” As the pastor explained, the name Jabez basically means “pain.” Can you imagine being called “Pain” all your life? That’s where verse 10 comes in, where Jabez prays that he would be “free from pain.” He wasn’t asking God for a life free from trouble (which is dumb, because Jesus said in this world we’ll have trouble), but that He would be able to turn Jabez’s curse into a blessing. And He did.

Have you ever had something bad happen to you that you could not control? Did you ever ask, “God, why did this happen to me?” In the past I’ve written about being bullied, growing up without a father, and struggling with anxiety/depression. But out of all that, God gave me the chance to encourage and inspire others with my story. We can’t control what happens to us, but God can turn the worse situation into a positive one.

At one of our last summer youth meetings, I went up to our host and told him thanks for letting us come and over run his house. His response although quick and most likely something he has said multiple times has been poking me in the side since. He simply said, “It’s not my house, it’s God’s”. There is a lot of power in that statement for me. It’s so against everything I feel like the culture is teaching me. It’s all about me, I should do it all for me and put myself first and man that just comes naturally for me.

To see my possessions not as my own and not something I earn, but instead as a gift from God to further his glory and kingdom even when it isn’t convenient for me or what I want to spend my resources on is sobering. I also liked the way Mark Driscoll approached the idea of money “God doesn’t give you more money so you can make yourself more comfortable”. Thanks Q and Mark.