Fractured Saints - never beyond mending - a christian blog for the broken ones

My grandmother died last night and again, I’m faced with tragedy.  I am not generally good at sorrow / grief, and I typically respond in somewhat cold, logical manner.  Though my grandmother was a Christian and I fully rejoice that she is in the presence of our Savior (Come quickly Jesus!), part of identifying with grief is really seeing death for what it is.  Very similar to what I said in my last post,  death really is a stark reminder of the consequences of sin.  It is a victory for the devil in a lot of ways.  I am reminded of the scene in the Passion of the Christ where the Devil figure is walking through the crowd as Jesus is being killed.  There is a certain level of triumph in his face, yet he is apprehensive.  The death of Christ was the devil’s greatest victory and at the same time was his greatest and most final defeat.

In this light, the death of the Christian is re-enactment of Christ’s death.  There is sorrow and it is a victory in a way for the devil.  But in this minor victory, the devil has to face the fact that it his last victory that he will ever have in that believer’s life.  They are home and will never suffer under temptation, sorrow or the whisperings of the evil one ever again.

With these two realities in mind, I am going to try to weep for sorrow at the victory of sin in my grandmother’s physical death and weep for joy at the victory of Christ in her eternal life.

I hope this makes sense.  Today’s been a cocktail of emotion.

Thanks to the so-called “snowpocalypse,” I am once again cooped up inside my house this morning. Last weekend we received about 3 ft. of snow, and today they’re calling up to 18 inches. Usually I love snow, but this is just ridiculous!

But as my mom reminded me this morning, eventually all the snow will melt and it will be spring again. Which is true. I just wish it would arrive sooner.

This reminds me of other storms in my life: emotional storms. Depression storms. Anxiety storms. When these storms come, they never seem to go away. Even when I pray that Jesus would calm these storms, like He did in Matthew 8:26, the storms continue.

Or maybe I’m interpreting things wrong. Maybe instead of ending the storms, Jesus is giving me peace through the storms. Some preachers like to say that all of your troubles will go away once you have Jesus in your life, but that’s not entirely true. Jesus Himself said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Even though the storms seem to last forever, Jesus’ peace reminds us that they won’t.

What is the role of God’s church when confronted with the real suffering of a fellow Christian?

Relieve that suffering?  Don’t answer too quickly…

What if that suffering is for a reason?  Let’s suppose God is teaching and growing that Christian through the suffering.  But how are we to judge that and keep from interfering with His plan?  Should we even attempt to?

But I don’t recall the Lord saying anything about withholding aid from others in the church.  Am I missing something?

This is a very real and troubling question in my mind, right now, dealing with a very real and troubling situation… RIGHT NOW.

This Christian is in a destructive housing situation and has no way out on their own.  It appears to be heavily interfering with their growth as a Christian.  Add some mental illness in for good measure, and that is one sticky wicket.

One of our pastors is working with this person in a weekly counseling session; this seems way too circumspect an approach to me.

My instinct is to rush in and fix things, whatever I can, right now.  Get the church elders together and figure out how we’re going to help!  Can we not solve this?  But I realize this urge is not always the wisest move.

Is our church too timid?  Are we afraid to be bold in coming alongside this suffering, creating solutions instead of sympathy?

Or, are we going to hurt by helping?  Is the circumspect approach appropriate?  I’m not sold on it.

Where is the rest of my church?  Why is no one else befriending this person in a tangible way during the week?  Why aren’t we confronting our people, assigning people to get to know this person?!?  Surely that doesn’t cost anything, and can only help.

This person is crying out for help to me – I can’t solve this alone – what can I say?

For now I guess I’ll trust the pastor’s take on it.  But what if he’s WRONG?

Confused, befuddled and frustrated,

Dick Ness

Like you, I’ve been keeping up with the latest Haiti relief news. And like you, my heart breaks with each update. As with this writing, it’s estimated that 100,000 may be dead. The natural question to ask is, “What can we do?”

Should we debate why God would allow such a travesty to happen? Don’t get me wrong, it’s normal to wonder why something like this would happen, if God is so loving. But honestly, I don’t think we can fully know God’s will. I think sometimes you just have to admit that stuff happens.

Should we then make fun of Pat Robertson’s claim that the the earthquake happened because they “swore a pact with the devil?” If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that I’ve been having a field day poking fun at old Pat. But while people are dying, what good will it do to make fun of some idiot on TV?

So what then? Well, I have a couple of ideas:

1. Give. Mercy Corps, the American Red Cross, and Compassion International, among others, are currently collecting money for disaster relief. I’m sure they will appreciate any amount.

2. Pray. Pray for those who lost their homes and loved ones. Pray for those who are still trapped underneath the rubble. Pray for the relief workers.

In other words, instead of focusing on ourselves, let’s focus on those who are suffering.

Any one who knows me knows that I have a huge beef with the Prosperity Gospel. It sickens me to see the Word of God reduced to just another snake-oil self-help scam where you can get anything you want if you just “think positively.” One of the most popular examples of this is The Prayer of Jabez, which misuses a small anecdote found in 1 Chronicles 4:9-11:

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.

Many people interpret this as, “If you ask God to bless you, He’ll shower you with material wealth and whatever else you want.” But as I learned Sunday at my fiancee Amy’s church, that’s not the case.

Did you notice verse 9 when it says Jabez got his name because his mother “gave birth to him in pain?” As the pastor explained, the name Jabez basically means “pain.” Can you imagine being called “Pain” all your life? That’s where verse 10 comes in, where Jabez prays that he would be “free from pain.” He wasn’t asking God for a life free from trouble (which is dumb, because Jesus said in this world we’ll have trouble), but that He would be able to turn Jabez’s curse into a blessing. And He did.

Have you ever had something bad happen to you that you could not control? Did you ever ask, “God, why did this happen to me?” In the past I’ve written about being bullied, growing up without a father, and struggling with anxiety/depression. But out of all that, God gave me the chance to encourage and inspire others with my story. We can’t control what happens to us, but God can turn the worse situation into a positive one.

This weekend was a good mix of fun, work and some great preaching (Check out the Crosspoint sermon from 8/16 if interested).  The sermon was on Exodus, shortly after the Israelites had crossed the Red Sea and were beginning to grumble about not having food nor water in the desert.  It was a convicting sermon which just shows me how much better I have it in today’s life with food a couple steps away and over 50 magical things called faucets which will provide water immediately.  And yet, I find that I grumble a lot to God when things are going so hot.  I find that the word is so appropriate with my overall attitude when life isn’t going my way.  If we take a closer look at the grumbling, we can uncover a whole host of nasty dark attitudes which God finds abhorrent.  Worship of the idol of ease, discontented-ness of where we are in life and general extreme lack of gratefulness not only for our salvation, but also just for our current lifestyle just to name a few.

All of this isn’t to provide a dark thought to start the week off, but rather to call those like me to shake off some of the grumbling.  Know that God will provide for those that He loves even if through a season of suffering.

I’m tired.

This past week I’ve been putting myself under a lot of unnecessary stress. It’s like littlest problems become huge monsters ready to eat me alive. Anxiety disorder will do that to you. But I’m sick of it all. I’m tired of struggling with my demons. I’m tired of living in a world full of trouble and turmoil. I’m tired of all this fear and loathing. I’m tired and I want to go to bed.

It’s times like these when I think about Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest.” What does this rest look and feel like? Sometimes I naively think it means God will take away all trials and pressures out of my life, but that’s not the case. In John 16:33, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I have overcome the world.

For some reason I’m always forgetting this. For thirty-three years Jesus lived among mankind. He knows all about the trials, temptations, and troubles of life–even public execution and humiliation on the cross! He did all that to take the burden off of our shoulders. “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30)

I once saw a church sign that said, “God doesn’t promise an easy ride, but a safe landing.” So that’s what I think this rest Jesus is referring to is: the peace of knowing that in the end, everything is going to be okay.

In light of the recent and ongoing sufferings my family is enduring, Pastor Alan asked me to give a testimony about our Lord’s faithfulness during this time at the Sunday evening meeting. Here is something of a revised version.

A man’s steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way?
P R O V E R B S 20:24

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.
P R O V E R B S 19:21

They say hindsight is 20/20; apparently I need LASIK surgery! While things are certainly clearer looking back upon them rather than in the midst of them, none of us can fully discern the Lord’s providential outworking of his purposes for us. The Lord has, however, given to us “all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (2 Pt. 1:3,4). One of these precious promises is that “for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28). Though we may not be able to figure out just exactly how our circumstances work together for our good and unto God’s glory, we most certainly can be assured that they do.

Keeping in mind these principles, as I look back over my life some things now resolve into crystal clarity as to how (at least in some ways) the Lord orchestrates these things for good. I’ll hit the highlights which pertain to current situations. I believe the Lord called me to himself and granted me a new heart when I was about 10 years old. Shortly thereafter my parents were divorced. They both subsequently remarried. My father married a nurse (the significance of which…well, just keep reading!). About 15 years ago Dad had to have by-pass surgery on his heart, during the course of which a physician obviously damaged his lungs. He has also been diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension (a fatal lung disease), because of which, along with his collapsed lungs, he must be on oxygen 24/7. Currently, he is in stoppage time (as they say in soccer), living past the expected time he was given. Due to breast cancer my mother has had a double mastectomy. Recently, this cancer has metastasized into bone cancer and has assaulted her spine and some surrounding areas with multiple lesions. She also has multiple stress fractures in her spine which, combined with the lesions, is causing her to suffer excruciating pain. I was laid off from my job at Thanksgiving time last year and remain unemployed. The following month my step-mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and then received radiation treatment. (Is anyone else dizzy?!) Because of my unemployment I have been able to serve my parents by taking them to appointments, doing chores, being present, and even saving my father’s life (if you haven’t heard this story, feel free to ask me about it)! These certainly weren’t things we planned on! Nevertheless, the Lord accomplishes his good purposes throughout all these twists and turns.

In a recent sermon, Pastor Alan referred us to Ps. 68:18. I just “happened” to keep reading and, much to my delight and encouragement, here is what I read in verses 19 and 20:

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Our God is a God of salvation, and to GOD, the Lord, belong deliverances from death.

How apropos! It was like getting an IM from the Lord! Indeed, the Lord and his word are living and active. How sweet and gracious of the Lord to direct me to this manna.

Also of great comfort to me has been Ps. 139. There David marvels at the Lord’s exhaustive knowledge of him, his intimate involvement in his life and his omnipresence. I particularly appreciate the truth of verse 5: “You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me”. How comforting to know that my Father lovingly provides, protects and strengthens me. Frankly, there are times when I want to flee God’s presence and wallow in self pity and self indulgence; yet even there he meets me and brings me to my senses by bringing me to himself.

Finally, thank you so much for praying for our family and being an encouragement to me during this time. The Lord surrounds us with his steadfast love and one of the ways he manifests that love is through our fellowship with one another.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. (2 Cor. 13:14)