Fractured Saints - never beyond mending - a christian blog for the broken ones

I don’t read the Bible nearly as much as I should. I am not quite sure how often it “should” be read by Christians, but I am pretty sure it’s more than “never” which is close to where I am. I do have it permanently resting next to my bed though, so perhaps I am absorbing through osmosis. The paltry reason I have for not reading it too often is also a prideful one. I’ve read it all. Multiple times. Growing up in a Christian home with two parents who are very vocal in their faith means that by the time I was five I was naming all my stuffed animals “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego” (I still think, “and Abendego” would be a kick-ass band name.) However, even though my reading (I guess I should say re-reading) is infrequent, that does not mean I take lightly what is inside the Bible, or think that I don’t need to heed it’s instruction.

Which is why, after stumbling upon this verse, I am suddenly and powerfully filled with a sense of conviction. This is a verse that I have read dozens, if not hundreds of times, and while it’s always been something that I’ve found provocative, it’s never stirred quite the reaction in me that is has upon today’s reading, in light of current world events.

According to World Vision, as of right now, one fifth of the country of Pakistan is underwater. Let’s pause there before moving on. Since we’re Americans, we have to think of everything in terms of “us”, so picture a map of the US in your head. Got it? Divide it into five sections. Now imagine if one of those sections was gone, forever underwater. And the rain is still falling.

20 Million people have been affected, and 6 million are in urgent need of assistance. To put that into a perspective for us over here, that would be like the ENTIRE state of FL losing their homes, jobs, and livelihoods, and the ENTIRE city of Miami without food, water, or shelter. Can you imagine the impact that would have in the news, and in the world? It would be a world changer, and would affect almost every American in some way. Undoubtedly aid would pour in from multiple countries, and every effort would be made to save lives.

The fact is, while I was typing that, people in Pakistan right now are hungry, thirsty, homeless, and in danger. Yet when I turned the news on last night I saw an update on Dancing with the Stars. When I logged into my favorite magazine’s website, I see an article on Glenn Beck’s rally last weekend, and when I survey the things that are most pressing on my mind, on the top of the list is my plans for dinner.

Why are we as a nation, and more importantly, we as Christians, not caring or reacting at all to what is happening right now to millions of people in Pakistan? Why is there not the global outpouring of support and attention for Pakistan as there was for Haiti? Where is George Clooney and the MTV telethon? Where is Kanye West making inappropriate comments on live TV? Why have I not received 15 text message forwards urging me to add $10 to my Verizon bill and send money to the Red Cross? Why is is that when the news is on, the computer is on, and the Christian websites are updating, we are mostly silent about this horrible disaster? More importantly, why don’t I care as much as I want other people to?

I have no answers, but I have guesses. It could be pure proximity, the fact that disasters like Katrina were personal, Haiti was our neighbors, and Pakistan is well…..a “terrorist” nation on the other side of the world. Or maybe it’s the chicken and the egg, did we care about Haiti and Katrina and that’s why it was all the world could talk about, or was the world talking about Haiti and Katrina, and that’s why we cared? Regardless, none of that changes the fact that right now people are dying, and very, very few Americans seem to care.

Which is why, upon re-reading this verse, I am struck with a horrible feeling of shame. Who else could Jesus be talking about in this, if not those in Pakistan? What are the ramifications for us not sending them aid, or at the very least, praying actively for them as a people and nation? What is wrong with us? And more specifically, what is wrong with me?

This also appears on my blog, EmilyThinksYoureAwesome.Blogspot.com.

Anne Lamott is my literary soul mate. She writes in the same style and tone that I do, and her work tends to contain the same level of self-deprecating, sarcastic cynicism as mine does. Or at least, I’d like to think so. Therefore, it goes without saying that I’ve taken a lot of the advice in her book on writing, “Bird by Bird” to heart. Which means that I have spent quite a lot of time recently thinking and writing about my family.

To be a writer, you have to not only think that you are interesting enough that people would care to hear what you have to say, but also delusional enough to believe that people would pay money to read your work. In a word, you have be be a cocky crazy person. I am without a doubt a writer.

The common knowledge on writing is that an author should, “write what they know.” So I write a lot about faith, fat, and family. And cheese. In the past year I have also discovered something new to write about – relationships – after ending nearly half a decade of singleness. Relationships are hard, and loving someone the way that Jesus would love them is about as natural to me as eating nothing but kale for a day (ie, not natural.)

Sometimes when my boyfriend is forgetful, clumsy, inattentive, and other qualities that remind me of my dad, I think about that old wives warning, that, “all women are destined to marry men like their fathers.” Creepiness and reverse Oedipal complex issues aside, there is a lot of truth to this in my relationship. Both my boyfriend and my father are sensitive, loving, caring men who sometimes struggle to communicate their feelings effectively and are physically incapable of putting clothes into hampers. While those seem like general enough qualities that men have, what is not so common is the fact that both my boyfriend and my father have mothers that are very protective and controlling. Both myself and my mother have had difficulty being accepted by mother-in-law and mother-in-not-yet-law, and dealt with relationship drama as a result. It wasn’t until a recent talk with my Grandmother that I realized that she too was not accepted by her MIL, and was married to a man whose mother just couldn’t let go. This concerned me.

How could I have known when I met my boyfriend and decided to pursue a relationship with him, that he would have a type of relationship with his mother that previous matriarchs in my family had endured? Was this chance? Fate? Or was it something scarier – like a curse? As a Christian, I don’t believe in things like, “luck”, “chance”, or “Harry Potter” (just kidding I LOVE Harry Potter, go Gryffindors!) I do believe in the Bible though, which states clearly in the book Exodus that God punishes those He loves for the sins of their fathers. Suddenly I was reminded of the time when I went to a sister church’s “generational healing” service, where we were told to write down every sin of every family member we knew of, and then burn the paper to “cleans the sins.” I had angrily dismissed this as extra-Biblical manipulative nonsense and stormed out, clip art family tree in hand. Was I wrong? Had my great-great-great-great grandmother lied on her tax return form and cursed all future women in the family to suffer through, “he’ll always be my baby”’s for the rest of time? If you take the verse literally, the answer would be no, since it says nothing about sins of the mother, but that probably wasn’t God’s point.

Emotional hyperbole over with, I started to meditate on the truths about God I knew and held onto. That He loved me. That nothing I could ever do would separate me from His love. That He has plans for my life and a purpose for my being on this Earth. That He will always be in control, even if it’s hard for me to understand why He’s doing the things He’s doing. And also, that He likes to party, and when I get to meet Him in heaven we’ll probably enjoy some kick-ass wine. I realized that I was focusing far too much on the first part of the verse, the “punishing” part, and not enough on the second part, the “loving.” I might not ever understand what that verse, or the hundreds of others just as confusing as it in the Bible mean, but I will always know that my God loves me, and is not sitting up in Heaven plotting out ways to exact revenge on me. Even if it feels that way over Thanksgiving dinner.

As I ran at the gym this morning, I noticed advertisers must think 1 of 2 things about those people who are up at 5 in the morning. Either we need a better mattress or we need to get in shape. I have seen my share of workout and diet commercials, but no matter how many I see I know that having the resources doesn’t produce results, only using the resources you have will be of benefit.

Even though I know that is true I still buy things in hope that owning them will produce results. I wonder how many bowflexs and thigh masters are sitting in a closet gathering dust right now. I wonder what percentage of folks look like the guy in the bowflex commercials or have thighs off…..iron? And then there’s the shake weight, I’m sure that flew off the shelves for mothers day… never mind.

I feel the same way as a Christian here in America. I feel like we have the most Christian resources at our disposal between the book stores, tv & radio stations, and even our own music industry. But from what I hear we are also the most stagnant church, the slowest to help those in need, the slowest to love past our areas of comfort. So I guess my question is do we need more Christian resources or do we need less stuff and more Christ?

As I ended up my talk at the Men’s Bible Study almost a week ago, the progression of a study on pride naturally lends itself to a study on humility.  Suddenly, there was a conclusion staring me in the face, that pride must be sacrificed if anything good is ever to come out of or into my life.  Because Christ humbled Himself, the greatest good of salvation was made available to me.

Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:  6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:  7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:  8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”

Because of a moment of humility in my own life, I came to accept that grace offered to me.  In fact, the very moment of our own salvation is our first act of humility towards God.  Recognizing our own sinfulness, admitting our need for a Savior, we accept, in our degenerate condition, a gift we know we do not deserve.

Beyond salvation, what is a Christian to do about pride?  If we lay down our pride, we are said to “humble ourselves” but if pride is ripped from us we are “humiliated”.  I want to have a heart bent towards the former, and that I would not find humbling myself such a difficult thing, yet I find I struggle with this one aspect of Christian living so much, and so frequently, I have come to the conclusion that it is a moment by moment struggle of the will and mind, one that must subject itself as a Christian to be a Christ-like ambassador in the service of a Holy God.

To that end, the rest of this post is a 5 point checklist of what we can do about pride.  For anyone looking for a quick path, the first point should be enough to stop any one of us in our tracks.

1.  Accept with patience unwarranted criticism: 1Peter 2:20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

I find it difficult enough to accept criticism when I am wrong, but here is a whole new standard – take it when you’re right, too, and take it patiently.  Anyone swallowing hard on that one?

2.  Learn to keep silent: Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. Understanding that “Only by pride cometh contention” then it would be logical for us to conclude that when we have a contentious spirit within us, it would be far better to keep silent than to open our mouths and give voice to our contentions.

This is not the same as standing up for what is right, but we must understand how to make a stand for what is right without being overrun by our own pride.  If we are standing for what is right but we are filled with pride, the opposite message will come across, and it will have been better for us to keep silent.

3.  Learn to speak with a sincere heart with the other person’s best interest in mind.  Eph 4:14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; 15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Become very self-critical when you feel like responding defensively or feel you must lash out to correct someone.  Stop yourself when the beginnings of frustration, anger, or resentment take hold of you.  That contentious spirit is not borne of a Holy purpose, but of a prideful heart that must be broken before it can communicate any form of truth in a genuine spirit of love.

4.  Learn that contentment is only achieved through humility.

Php 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

1Ti 6:8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.

Heb 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

None of this is possible if we feel we deserve more than we already have, and remember that only by pride cometh contention – it applies with a dissatisfied heart, too.

5.  The key to service to Christ, in ANY capacity, is the humble heart of a servant.  Without humility, we cannot serve God even if we tried.  2Cor 9:6 But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.  7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. People who want to be recognized for their contributions of time, money, and talents, do not have the correct mindset to serve God in the first place, and ultimately their gifts are wasted on themselves and their reward is given in a moment.

Mt 6:2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

See also Mt 6:5  6:15

If we give grudgingly to that which is good, with a knowledge that we should do it, but with an unwilling heart, is there not a bad attitude within us? Is this not contentious?

The first two most important decisions I have ever made in my life is my decision to accept Christ as Savior, and deciding to spend the rest of my life with the lady I call my wife.  Quite possibly, the study of a humble life and the consequences of pride have led me to what I feel would be the third most important decision in anyone’s life – to live a humble life as Christ did.  It has been said that the blood of Christ runs like a thin red line throughout all of Scripture binding it together, and if so, then surely the humility of Christ runs the whole of that line.

Faith (Scripture)

Faith (definition)

Faith (its personal meaning)

Faith is the belief in things unseen. It is provided by the Holy Spirit and is not something that we can control (basically I am saying that we cannot increase our own faith). In my life it has helped me to rely on the character of God when tough questions have come up that I didn’t find answers to. Faith is great at filling the gaps in our logic when our minds just can handle the jump.

What does faith mean to you? What effect does it have on you?

Out of all the top sins in my life, I don’t think pride would have made my top 3 or even 7.  Yet in the six (yea, seven) things God hates, “A proud look” makes the first on His list.  (Proverbs 6: 16-17)  In the New Testament, pride shows up again as one of three on a list as “the pride of life”.  I John 2:16

Ever notice that the Bible also makes some very emphatic and exclusive statements and conclusions about pride?  “Only by pride cometh contention: . . . ” Proverbs 13:10 and “Pride goeth before destruction, . . .” Proverbs 16:18

If God takes the issue of pride so seriously, why don’t I?  The only answer I could come up with: my pride.

As I began to delve into my own research to be able to teach on this topic in Men’s Bible study, a flood of conviction began to overwhelm me.  “Only by pride” do I argue, “Only by pride” do I get offended when someone is critical, “Only by pride” do I criticize others, “Only by pride” do I find fault in others, “Only by pride” do I become dissatisfied with my situation, “Only by pride” do I find myself too busy to read my Bible or pray, and on and on.  I began to see how pride has infiltrated every aspect of my life, every moment of my day, every encounter with another person, every thought that enters my mind, every action or word will be influenced by my pride.  I saw myself unable to function in life without my pride, and I stood totally convicted and judged in my own eyes.  How would God see me?  I shuddered, because I also knew “Pride goeth before destruction.” Proverbs 16:18

Most people inaccurately quote this as pride comes before a fall, but it is a misquote of the words in the entire verse.  God says, quite emphatically, that He hates pride, and we either must lose our pride or face destruction.  I also found destruction comes in so many forms.  Others are killed every day by someone else’s pride.  For example: texting while driving – pride tells us we can do it.  Speeding – we are safer drivers than others aren’t we?  I could write a whole article on just the consequences of pride, but you get the idea.  Relationships are destroyed – by pride.  Churches die and are destroyed – by pride.  Families are torn apart – by pride.  How different would our world be without pride?  Picture that, and maybe you can get a sense of why God hates it so much.

If “Only by pride cometh contention” then the reverse must also be true, so I came up with the corollary that “Only by humility cometh contentment.”  Think of all the things that bother you, then think of how Christ faced them by taking off His God robe long enough to die for you and me.  At the very moment of our own salvation, humility, not pride, ruled our minds and hearts.  On bended knee, vulnerable, we cried out for Him to save us, and He did.

I believe now that no one dies and goes to hell for their sins – for Christ paid for ALL OUR  SINS.  I now believe that a person dies and goes to hell for their PRIDE.  Someone who refuses salvation is someone who has refused to humble them self and acknowledge an Almighty God and His Son Jesus Christ, or maybe they have an issue with recognizing their own sinfulness.  In any case, it is always pride that stands between them and salvation – everything else to effect their salvation is already prepared for them.  Pride tells us we must earn salvation, while humility accepts there is nothing we can do to save ourselves.  God will only judge us for our sin if we hang onto our pride, and I am in the middle of my P-R-I-D-E.  Need a reference for that?

How about the story of Jonah?  The city of Nineveh was condemned for their sins, Jonah goes and warns them then sits on a hill to wait for their impending destruction.  The people humble themselves from the king to the last citizen, and God spares them.  Check it out for yourself how multiple times God backs off His judgment from a person a city or a nation because the person, people, or nation humbled themselves.

The kicker: 2Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

This past Sunday during the sermon our guest pastor, Hunter, said that a lot of people thing of different things when they think of the word “Grace”. So I thought it would be interesting to define this word and some others and get your thoughts on what they mean. Today we will talk about grace and later I will post some other words.

Grace (Scripture)

Grace (definition)

Grace (its personal meaning)

I thought Hunter hit the nail on the head with his definition of Grace. It is the undeserved justification of our sin. Jesus taking our punishment and giving us his righteousness. But it doesn’t stop there, because once we realize the power of the grace given to us it produces a reaction in us to it. We act out the things we are called to do in the gospel not out of guilt or obligation, but because of the over whelming generosity and love of the provider.

What does grace mean to you? What effect does it have on you?

Parenting for me has always been a daunting task.  I think that my generation (people in their 30s now) has generally been the “show me” generation of kids.  Our parents did a decent job of telling us that they loved us, but many a time, the words fell short of accompanying actions.  Ironically, this has now kind of boomerang’ed a bit on me as I find my parenting not living up to the standards that I expected from my mom and dad.

Inadequacy in parenting is always at a high when finishing parenting books.  I just got finished with a great book (which I highly recommend) called Handbook to Joy-Filled Parenting by Barbara Moon.  In it, she talks about connecting to your children at a young age, by looking into their eyes and “synchronizing” with them.  It’s a neat concept that I am now really trying to implement with my kids.

My kids resist it though, which can be really frustrating.  See even though they love me, they often would rather keep doing what they are doing (playing, watching pbs, etc) than to sync up with me.  This is really hard as a parent, and yet I know that is regularly my posture to God.  The king of the universe wants to connect with me and I say….”I am busy”.  That really sucks, but not quite enough to generally get me out of doing it.

May God give me the strength to model good connecting with God by regularly “looking into His eyes”.

James 1:5-8

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

This past Sunday, the minister spoke on the first part of James 1, primarily talking through suffering.  I am really familiar with the book of James as my parents paid me at some point to memorize the entire book.  As a side note, I am not sure if that move of my parents was either really bad or incredibly smart.  Maybe somewhere in between, but I digress.

What struck me was the text around the doubting man.  I had always read this in direct application to the man who asks something from God, specifically wisdom.  Therefore, whenever I needed wisdom on some decision, I would try extra hard not to doubt my desire for wisdom.  However, upon re-reading the verse this week, I think God wanted to speak to my life on a deeper level.

In the past 10 years of my faith, I have certainly gone through several seasons of doubt with God.  Most notably was struggling through the concept of God’s sovereignty and supreme goodness.  By the grace of God, I do not doubt in these areas as I did previously, but at the same time, I think I may have wallowed in that time longer than I should have.  This isn’t to say that I should have just swept the doubt under a rug, but rather, if we have doubts about God or His plans, we should try to quickly address them to be able to leave the state of being a doubtful man.  If we do not, then James says that we shouldn’t expect to receive anything from God and that we are unstable in all that we do.

As it is somewhat in vogue to be doubtful these days (David Bazan?), do we risk seriously limiting our spiritual lives?

I was listening to a sermon this week and something he said really jumped out at me.  He said, “The problem with Christians today is that we love the sheep and goat story too much and ignore the stories of coming together.”   Like the Pharisees, I think we can too often be so smug in our Salvation that we kind of imagine ourselves separating the sheep and goats.  You know, just helping out the Lord, in case He had missed the sins of this person or that person.

I was pretty smugly thinking of all the Christians I know who are always talking about every one else who is going to hell and then I realized what I was doing.   Sitting in judgment of anyone, even my fellow Christians, is not exactly the action of a “sheep.”  Now, I am all for gentle correction within the spirit, but to stand there and try to sit in place of the Lord is probably not the best thing to do.

If we worked harder to be sheep and didn’t worry so much about who the goats were, we would be a LOT better off.