Fractured Saints - never beyond mending - a christian blog for the broken ones

Is it just me, or can Christians be sort of cliquish sometimes? I’ve noticed that if you identify yourself as a particular kind of Christian, you can only surround yourself with people and things associated with that identity. It’s like high school all over again.

Take for example the Emergent Christians and the Reformed Christians. If you check the bookshelves of any of my Emergent Christian peers, chances are you will see the same authors: Brian McLaren, Rob Bell, Tony Jones, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Jim Wallis, N.T. Wright, John Howard Yoder, and Shane Claiborne. Chances are emergent Christians listen to podcasts like The Nick and Josh Podcast, Something Beautiful (at least I hope they do!), Losing My Religion, and Homebrewed Christianity. The Reformed crowd, on the other hand, usually has these authors on their bookshelves: John Calvin, John Piper, Jonathan Edwards, R.C. Sproul, and Charles Spurgeon. They tend to subscribe to Mark Driscoll’s sermon podcast, and listen to Derek Webb. You won’t catch an Emergent reading John Piper, or a Reformed Christian reading N.T. Wright. They do, however, agree on two things: the prosperity gospel sucks, and Derek Webb is awesome. Other than that, they tend to stay on their own respective pews, occasionally maybe smiling at each other for a brief second.

Well, I happen to like both John Howard Yoder and Jonathan Edwards. Both Brian McLaren and Mark Driscoll have influenced my faith.

A few months ago on my blog, I said that the Emerging Church should avoid echo chambers and include other points of view in the conversation. Likewise, I think the Reformed Christians can learn a lot from the Emerging Christians. If we don’t listen to other points of view, how can we grow?

I originally posted this on my own blog a few weeks ago.

As you know, I am not a big fan of fundamentalism. To me, it’s theological school yard bullying. However, sometimes my hatred of fundamentalism makes me do stupid things, like hurt people.

First, let me start with my definition of fundamentalism. To me, a fundamentalist is some one who thinks that their interpretation of the Bible is the infallible word of God. Folks who believe that they’re always right and if you don’t fit into their cookie-cutter image then you’re a bad person. Those judgmental, holier-than-thou, authoritative, pious, “I’m right, you’re wrong, get used to it” folks. In the words of Barney Frank, trying to have a conversation with them is like arguing with a dining room table. I’d much rather have a conversation, and rethink a lot of the things Christian culture usually takes for granted.

(Of course when I say “a lot of the things Christian culture usually takes for granted,” I am NOT referring to the three biggies that are, to me, the fundamentals and Christianity: the Divinity of Jesus, His atoning death on the Cross, and His resurrection.)

Maybe it’s just my rebellious punk rock nature, but I always like to question things. If I don’t ask questions, how will I know that what I believe is legit? How can I separate what’s really biblical and what’s just a man-made doctrine? With fundamentalism, however, there is no room for questions. Either you accept everything they believe and fit into their little mold, or you’re not a true Christian.

I’m the first to admit that I am not perfect. I know I’m messed up. I know I haven’t gotten it all figured out. I’m still learning, and I’ll always be learning until the day I die. Yeah, I make mistakes along the way, but I keep learning. Don’t make me feel like a piece of crap just because I haven’t gotten it all together.

Having said all that, though, sometimes I falsely accuse people of being fundamentalist nut jobs. Sometimes I get so angry that I say things that are mean, hurtful, and unfair. I’m so defensive that I refuse to let down my guard and really listen to what the other side has to say. Even though I’m always saying both sides should talk to each other, I secretly don’t believe it.

I’ve been hurt by Christians in the past, but that doesn’t make it right for me to attack people. It’s like the bullied becomes the bully, and then the cycle continues. I need to learn how to stop the cycle, listen to the other side, and make peace with others.

What is the role of God’s church when confronted with the real suffering of a fellow Christian?

Relieve that suffering?  Don’t answer too quickly…

What if that suffering is for a reason?  Let’s suppose God is teaching and growing that Christian through the suffering.  But how are we to judge that and keep from interfering with His plan?  Should we even attempt to?

But I don’t recall the Lord saying anything about withholding aid from others in the church.  Am I missing something?

This is a very real and troubling question in my mind, right now, dealing with a very real and troubling situation… RIGHT NOW.

This Christian is in a destructive housing situation and has no way out on their own.  It appears to be heavily interfering with their growth as a Christian.  Add some mental illness in for good measure, and that is one sticky wicket.

One of our pastors is working with this person in a weekly counseling session; this seems way too circumspect an approach to me.

My instinct is to rush in and fix things, whatever I can, right now.  Get the church elders together and figure out how we’re going to help!  Can we not solve this?  But I realize this urge is not always the wisest move.

Is our church too timid?  Are we afraid to be bold in coming alongside this suffering, creating solutions instead of sympathy?

Or, are we going to hurt by helping?  Is the circumspect approach appropriate?  I’m not sold on it.

Where is the rest of my church?  Why is no one else befriending this person in a tangible way during the week?  Why aren’t we confronting our people, assigning people to get to know this person?!?  Surely that doesn’t cost anything, and can only help.

This person is crying out for help to me – I can’t solve this alone – what can I say?

For now I guess I’ll trust the pastor’s take on it.  But what if he’s WRONG?

Confused, befuddled and frustrated,

Dick Ness

It’s interesting for me to hear this line from the song and think of how true it is. And how I have tried so many things to finish the sentence with so many things that just haven’t worked. T-shirts, bumper stickers, piety, hypocrisy, and judgmental attitude. Surprisingly those things really don’t draw people in.

Its hard for me to love someone I look down on, but an honest view of myself and where I stand with God helps me love people other then myself. Although I am still trying to get a grasp on what Godly love actually is.

Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you.

Proverbs 9:8

So parenting again has laid a golden egg. The most ironic thing that I have found in life is that while I am trying to teach my kids things, I am finding that I really need to learn them myself. There have been several really good personal things, but the biggest thing right now is getting him to listen to correction.

The hilarious thing about teaching my son this is that I need to learn this FAR more than he does. The typical reaction that I have to a well placed rebuke or correction whether it comes from my wife, a friend or a direct stranger is to be defensive and often point out the flaws in their character. Conversations like this, especially among Christian men, usually boils down to “You suck”, “No you suck.” Or put more Biblically, “You have a log in your eye.” “Oh yeah, well you have a speck”.

This keeps us from being wise. I was actually really humbled by how many times Proverbs harps on this and yet my willingness to listen to correction and rebuke humbly and earnestly is weak at best. How much stronger would the church be if we put this into action. How much more sin could we be made aware of if we would only listen.

My son needs to learn this, but good grief, we could all use a dose of it as well, I being the foremost.

In the loving your enemies sermon, the scripture passage from Luke 6:27-36 located here talked about how Christians should love people better then those who aren’t Christians. Recently a friend of mine was going through some tough times and I allowed our communications to go slack. Then as his life starting to turn back toward the good we begin talking more often and I realized I am a fair weather friend. This is the way God loves me, he doesn’t leave me all alone to fend for myself in my time of need (thank goodness). So why is it so easy for me to do.