Fractured Saints - never beyond mending - a christian blog for the broken ones

In light of the recent and ongoing sufferings my family is enduring, Pastor Alan asked me to give a testimony about our Lord’s faithfulness during this time at the Sunday evening meeting. Here is something of a revised version.

A man’s steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way?
P R O V E R B S 20:24

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.
P R O V E R B S 19:21

They say hindsight is 20/20; apparently I need LASIK surgery! While things are certainly clearer looking back upon them rather than in the midst of them, none of us can fully discern the Lord’s providential outworking of his purposes for us. The Lord has, however, given to us “all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (2 Pt. 1:3,4). One of these precious promises is that “for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28). Though we may not be able to figure out just exactly how our circumstances work together for our good and unto God’s glory, we most certainly can be assured that they do.

Keeping in mind these principles, as I look back over my life some things now resolve into crystal clarity as to how (at least in some ways) the Lord orchestrates these things for good. I’ll hit the highlights which pertain to current situations. I believe the Lord called me to himself and granted me a new heart when I was about 10 years old. Shortly thereafter my parents were divorced. They both subsequently remarried. My father married a nurse (the significance of which…well, just keep reading!). About 15 years ago Dad had to have by-pass surgery on his heart, during the course of which a physician obviously damaged his lungs. He has also been diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension (a fatal lung disease), because of which, along with his collapsed lungs, he must be on oxygen 24/7. Currently, he is in stoppage time (as they say in soccer), living past the expected time he was given. Due to breast cancer my mother has had a double mastectomy. Recently, this cancer has metastasized into bone cancer and has assaulted her spine and some surrounding areas with multiple lesions. She also has multiple stress fractures in her spine which, combined with the lesions, is causing her to suffer excruciating pain. I was laid off from my job at Thanksgiving time last year and remain unemployed. The following month my step-mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and then received radiation treatment. (Is anyone else dizzy?!) Because of my unemployment I have been able to serve my parents by taking them to appointments, doing chores, being present, and even saving my father’s life (if you haven’t heard this story, feel free to ask me about it)! These certainly weren’t things we planned on! Nevertheless, the Lord accomplishes his good purposes throughout all these twists and turns.

In a recent sermon, Pastor Alan referred us to Ps. 68:18. I just “happened” to keep reading and, much to my delight and encouragement, here is what I read in verses 19 and 20:

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Our God is a God of salvation, and to GOD, the Lord, belong deliverances from death.

How apropos! It was like getting an IM from the Lord! Indeed, the Lord and his word are living and active. How sweet and gracious of the Lord to direct me to this manna.

Also of great comfort to me has been Ps. 139. There David marvels at the Lord’s exhaustive knowledge of him, his intimate involvement in his life and his omnipresence. I particularly appreciate the truth of verse 5: “You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me”. How comforting to know that my Father lovingly provides, protects and strengthens me. Frankly, there are times when I want to flee God’s presence and wallow in self pity and self indulgence; yet even there he meets me and brings me to my senses by bringing me to himself.

Finally, thank you so much for praying for our family and being an encouragement to me during this time. The Lord surrounds us with his steadfast love and one of the ways he manifests that love is through our fellowship with one another.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. (2 Cor. 13:14)

Some Thoughts on Prov. 20:5

“The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”

Let’s see if we can draw out some of the meaning of this verse. Seems to me a couple of ideas are presented, or possible, here. The “purpose” may be obscure & thus requiring wisdom to be found out & expressed clearly or it may be profound & thus requiring wisdom to be understood & applied.

Also, I’m not exactly sure who the author intends here regarding the man of understanding–is it the man himself or another man? Perhaps both are intended; regardless, both are true: We need wisdom to draw things out of ourselves as well as others. I think vs. 27 in this chapter  sheds further light on this where we learn that the spirit is the Lord’s lamp which searches our inner being. The Lord gives us even further & clearer revelation on this in 1Cor 2:6-16, culminating in Paul’s wonderful declaration: “we have the mind of Christ”. Paul shows there that we have the mind of Christ by having the Spirit of God & the Scriptures that he has authored & enlightens us to understand. This is what we need to draw out our deep waters as well as those of others.

Now all of this is extremely encouraging to me as I feel so inadequate to help myself & others. These passages also well supplement 2Pt 1:3-6:

“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.”

Now that is one pregnant sentence!!!
What great assurances the Lord has given us! We have all we need in him to live a godly life, to make wise decisions & to wisely counsel others.  Listen in as I preach to myself: Your Father’s grace & provision are sufficient; the work & person of your Lord Jesus Christ is sufficient; the Spirit who indwells, counsels & empowers you is sufficient; the Scriptures which are “breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” are sufficient to make you “competent, equipped for every good work” (2Tim 3:16,17); the Spirit gifted and empowered church of the living God whose head is Christ is sufficient: so guess what Kirk–good news, & no excuses, you are sufficient!!

As one who is not only prone to wander & indeed has done so to a heinous degree but also prone to perform, I must continually recognize my need for (& plead accordingly) the Lord to graciously bind my wandering heart & quell my propensity to perform. The extent to which I strive to live by my performance rather than by God’s grace will determine how I relate to others: the more “successful” I am in my performance, the more demanding, judgmental & fawning I will be; the more I “fail”, the more I will withdraw and/or deceive. And given the propensity of like-feathered birds for flocking together, I must ask myself why I have chosen to join myself to a particular community as well as how I am contributing to its ethos & direction.

To be a Christian is to be exposed. The writer to the Hebrews, in admonishing the saints & by extension, us to strive to enter God’s rest, informs us that we are naked & exposed before the Lord & will one day give account to him. Then, lest we despair, he tells us that the very Son of God, who has taken upon him the likeness of our flesh & subjected himself to temptation without unlike us caving in, is our high priest who sits now upon a throne, not of judgment, but GRACE! And from him there we “may receive mercy & find grace to help in time of need.” (4:16). Indeed, every second is a “time of need”! The apostle has already declared that our high priest has made propitiation for our sins (2:17). That is our first exposure: the Lord mercifully shows us our sins & sinfulness as well as his abundant provision in Christ for us. I am so thankful that the the Lord did not come to make good people better but to save sinners! To liberate the captives! To raise the dead! The gospel is the power of God unto salvation: It was good news when I first believed & it is still good news & still God’s power unto salvation as I continue to believe! Also of supreme importance, & in keeping with the community of grace theme, notice that we are to “exhort one another every day…that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.” (3:13,14). Translation: THE PERSEVERANCE OF THE SAINTS IS A COMMUNITY PROJECT! We are called to live in transparency before our Lord & ourselves & before one another. As the Lord exposes us & renames, invigorates & draws near to us, we find that we have nothing left to protect & therefore no more reason to pretend & perform.

We become channels of grace.