Fractured Saints - never beyond mending - a christian blog for the broken ones

I have a personal rule that if I feel the need to make air quotes whenever I say a certain word, it means I need to start rethinking how I express the concept I’m trying to get across. Lately I realized the word “saved” is one of those words I need to rethink.

The reason I air quote “saved” is because if I don’t, this is what I believe people hear when I say it: that when I was in elementary school I recited a prayer written or led by someone else, either because I knew someone expected me to do it or because someone had told me I was going to live forever in a lake of fire if I didn’t, and this experience means now I can go around saying I’m “saved” even though you can’t tell I’m any different from anybody else.

I don’t want “salvation” to mean that for me or for anyone else. Since I’m a word person, I’ve come to think that for me, part of it is a simple semantic problem. “Am I saved?” puts the focus on me. Even “Has Jesus come into my life to save me?” still keeps the focus on me (and it’s way vague on top of that). I accept that “I am saved” speaks of the grace of God in saving me from death, but that phrase still doesn’t directly attribute God with that grace. It says, “Whew, I got out of that one, didn’t I?” That’s not what it’s supposed to be about. It’s supposed to be about Christ.

But here’s where I run into trouble. The best way I can think to say “I am saved” without saying “I am saved” is to say “I follow Christ.” That should do it, right? It’s clearer, it’s more concise, it points to Christ, and it reflects what I really want to say. And it doesn’t stop at the first half of the equation; rather than just “I am saved,” it covers the whole circuit: Christ saved me; now I follow Christ. It’s basically the same as saying “I’m a Christian,” but since that’s another word that’s got a lot of bad associations, I like “I follow Christ” better.

Problem is, do I? If I began to say “I follow Christ” instead of “I am saved,” would I have to then put air quotes around “follow?” Unfortunately, I think I would. I imagine “I follow Christ” would come out of my lips with unholy pride. It would also come back to haunt me when I’m impatient with my family, when I’m driving like an @$$hole, when I’m passing judgment on my Christian fellows, and when I’m sitting silently in a doctor’s office reading a book while the obviously anxious person next to me who seems to want someone to talk to just twiddles her thumbs – when I could be building a relationship with her, opening up a door to Christ with her, seeing how I can help her.

I would rather say “I follow Christ.” But I’d better be ready to actually do it.