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Chosen
Christianity relies completely on the character of God. If He is not good, just, and holy then we are all undone.
Lately I have been struggling with my understanding of God and my lack of first hand knowledge of his character. I was discussing the idea of our salvation being a concrete thing with a friend of mine. And I explained that one of my accountants, whom I still consider an accountant, kind of went off then deep end spiritually and got divorced and went on a search for himself. I think, as I have been taught, that I would have to say he was never a Christian in the first place, because no one can pluck us from His hand, not even ourselves.
If this is the case, how can I have security in my faith? How can I know that I am a Christian? It is funny to think about how a year ago and at other times in my life I could have guaranteed my standing with Christ. But the more I realize how little I know of God and how minuscule my relationship is with him the more I am really concerned about the concreteness of my salvation. Looking back on why I felt so confident of my salvation I realize that it was based on a very limited and shallow view of who God is. My god was a god whose only purpose was to save, love, protect, and provide for me. The more I learn about God the more I see his justice and my brokenness, and to think of the end of my life with out him on my side is just plain scary.