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In the Name of Love
There are times when even I can tell that the Lord might be trying to tell me something.
I think I might be a little (or much) too prideful.
At first, it was just a couple of posts (here and here) on FS. Then we reached the chapter on “The Greatest Sin” in our study on Mere Christianity in Sunday School. Immediately following, I heard a sermon about “Looking in God’s Mirror.” Our pastor talked about how we should search our reflections and see how we truly look spiritually. He mentioned Christians who are too critical, too puffed up in their own spirituality. I thought he might be talking about me.
I think that sometimes God kind of sneaks up on you and lets a truth be shouted at you. “You have cancer” can be thought of as “peek-aboo! Your time is limited and your life should be lived for the Lord!” Other times, He just lets it build. Little post here, little lesson there, maybe a conversation that gets you to thinking. Either way, you just can’t ignore it once you know what is going on.
So now I am stuck with knowing that I harbor too much pride. It’s isn’t like I am not already trying to be humble! The problem is knowing the difference between being right and not admitting you are wrong. Knowing the difference being confident and failing to be gracious. Or knowing when just to keep my mouth shut AND my mind open.
Other sins can be tackled. You can stop the action of an addiction and then gradually the mental effects will lessen. You can avert your eyes and help with lust. You look at someone you dislike and wish them a good day. But where do you start with pride? As Lewis points out, pride is spiritual and it is “straight from Hell.” Can you will yourself humble?
There is a line that is crossed before you are falling into the sin of pride. How do we see that line when it is pride that is blinding us?
Brokenness and being humbled appear to be the only remedy for my pride.
However there is greater freedom and joy after the brokenness is healed.
Prof, the process you are describing is so very similar to my experience shortly before I wrote the pain of being right post. It was God’s ‘peek-a-boo’ moment for me. The ironic thing is that for me God had His time for when it would make an impact on my life. My wife had articulated her problems with my pride for some time, but there was a point where I saw its ugliness for myself and it changed lots of things.
My biggest struggle with pride continues to be that I love to be right. It is especially hard when I get on a roll at work or home where I actually am in fact right. The devil loves to tempt me to indulge / revel in it.
Lets keep this one going. I think that there are probably more of us types out there and I could sure use brothers and sisters to struggle through this with.