Anger is an Energy

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Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt like a hypocrite for showing your face in a church? I felt like that this past Sunday, but after a while I realized that I was right where I needed to be.

I don’t want to get into too much detail, but let me just say that I’ve been having lots of anger issues lately. I feel like the slightest thing will set me off in a rage. And then when I’m angry, I do stupid things. Very very very very very stupid things!

Last weekend I realized that it’s time to finally control my anger, and apparently God agrees. The other day while going through my Google Reader I came across this post on Cyberbrethern about what St. Ambrose says about anger:

Our speech must not proceed not from evil passions, but from good motives; for here it is that the devil is especially on the watch to catch us.

14. If any one takes heed to this, he will be mild, gentle, modest. For in guarding his mouth, and restraining his tongue, and in not speaking before examining, pondering, and weighing his words— as to whether this should be said, that should be answered, or whether it be a suitable time for this remark— he certainly is practicing modesty, gentleness, patience. So he will not burst out into speech through displeasure or anger, nor give sign of any passion in his words, nor proclaim that the flames of lust are burning in his language, or that the incentives of wrath are present in what he says. Let him act thus for fear that his words, which ought to grace his inner life, should at the last plainly show and prove that there is some vice in his morals.

Yeah, I’ve always had trouble with the whole “think before you speak” thing.

Then this past Sunday at church the sermon was on Ephesians 5:1-20, where Paul talks about being imitators of God. And it got me to thinking about how, exactly, I have been living my life as a reflection of Christ. The answer, not much. I love to say “Love thy neighbor,” but I’m not very good at actually doing it. I use my words not to build up others, but to tear people down.

So I think it’s time to really get serious about learning how to express my anger in better and healthier ways, before something really bad happens.

*Actually, I don’t think Lutherans practice excommunication. Correct me if I’m wrong, though.